Latest on twitter:
triphop:thunderclavicleflonkertonbird:yerawizardharry:poisonedkiss:(via thisisthriller)
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH.
what a troll
(via boatfullofdicks)
one time in columbus we were looking for a place to fuck around at 12:30am but since we were in the rich-ass neighborhoods of Polaris there wasn’t anything open past 10pm. so we ended up going to waffle house and we practically had to kidnap our little brother because he was CONVINCED that Waffle House was a house of sins because somebody at school had once told them they saw a prostitute at a waffle house
he was so scared and it was so funny
first time I read this I read it as “looking for a place to fuck at around 12:30” and I was like oh man who’s the “we” here why is he teasing me
one time I was at a Motel 6 in Austin and my room phone rang (I was by myself) and this woman’s voice was like “what are you doing” all raspy and whispery and I got completely terrified as fuck, as scared as I’ve ever been in my life I think, and we had this bizarre circuitous conversation where I was like MA’AM WHAT DO YOU WANT and she was like “what do you think I want” and it wasn’t until I hung up that I realized she was a whore doing some kind of cold-calls sales technique
100% true, one of my favorite anecdotes
oh wow
she would have sealed the deal if you had just liked…
…GHOST BLOWJOBS WOO WOO
hahahaha God I never get tired of that. I really shouldn’t have hung up, it’s true - at the very least I should have been like, hey, just come over, I can’t pay you, but you don’t have to worry about me being crazy or having diseases, and we can just talk about feelings and your life and hold each other til morning
it would have been
sO iNdIe
she was probably 53 with a smoker’s cough
i mean if you’re that desperate i’ll come over and talk about feelings and i guess we can cuddle if you insist
Richie Tenenbaum (The Baumer)
(via thedailywhat)
JUST LET KANYE BE GREAT
